What? Is there a whole flock of birds in there?

There's this little robin that lives in the pine tree beside where I park my car. Everyday she has a chirping fit as I walk by. She acts as if I'm going to steal her eggs away and jump on them or something.

I try to tell her that I'm a human, and her nest doesn't mean anything to me, but she still hasn't gotten the idea.

When I went to my car today, some bird had done a real number on my windshield. There was so much bird doo splattered across it that I could barely see out. I turned on the windshield wiper make it go away, but that only made the white and rainbow goo smear across my entire windshield. Gross. Now I have dried bird doo stains streaked across my car.

Pleasant. Real pleasant.